No ser

Quiero sentarme. Ver como pasa la vida. Que el universo se manifieste por sí solo como un sistema complejo de acciones que circulan alrededor de mí. Quiero tener esa ventaja. Ser solo expectador. Pero un expectador activo. Interactuante. En el sentido móvil de la palabra interactuación. Callada. Impasible. Pero no inmune. Dejar que las cosas se marchiten. O que florezcan. Dejarlas ser. Ser el instante que resguarda todos los instantes. No ser.

About me. What else could it be?

I've given up on the world. Or at least trying. Or not. Not really. I can't give up on the world. That's beyond myself.

I guess I'm just giving up on me.

Los lenguajes.

I think I've underestimated the importance of learning a language (lack of commitment.)

I've noticed I have two different reactions when it comes to languages. I can be either completely annoyed (annoyed in a sad sense) by the fact that we're unable to fully communicate with every single person in the world (I know, this sounds kind of silly, since there're others, more irreducible, complications preventing us to do so) or completely excited by the opportunity that we have of learning a language and break that barrier (to go from Spanish to English, from Mexicans to Americans.)

But at the end, (going back to the beginning) I don't think I can pursue the task of learning more languages. But I want to. Or at least, I like to believe that I want to. Well, I do want to, and I like to believe that I can.

Todo está aquí, all in here.

La palabra que no dije. La palabra que dije. El silencio que guarde. El silencio que rompi. Esto y aquello. La sonrisa. La lágrima. El parásito. La mirada. El olor. El rencor. El pensamiento. El terror. El tiempo. El destiempo. La espera. La agonía. La huída. La alegría. La nostalgia. La palabra. La palabra. Esa palabra. Esa palabra que se dijo sin decir. El cine. La canción. Nuestra canción. La esperanza. El llanto. La resignación. Las etapas. Esa etapa. Lo que fue. Lo que pudo ser. Lo que ya no habrá de ser jamás.

¿Cuánto durará este jamás?

Aquello de los lenguajes

Quiero aprender más lenguajes. Y al final no saber nada. No poder expresarme en nada. Para no tener que hacerlo.

* * *

Inside My Heart,
알고 있잖아
노을 지는 하늘에 기대는 날
Inside your Heart,
이제야 네게 기대어
그리움 뒤에 난 울고 있는데

Arely wants to feel like Mafalda. One more time. Before going to silence. Arely quiere dejar que el mundo se desmorone de una vez por todas. Y mirar. Y no hacer nada al respecto. Arely doesn't know what she wants. Surprised?

* * *

et comment on fait pour se pousser ça sur le coeur?

* * *

CHOC-AID
for life's boo boos

Canadá

Canada is just around the corner. There you have it, I said (wrote) it in English. Can I switch back to French? Superb! Il y aura beaucoup à faire... rien à dire... Or viceversa.

And if this doesn't make any sense, try learning some Spanish... then you'll realize I just don't make any sense in any language. By the way, perturbation IS a word in English.

* * *

Brutally honest. Just my type. Just like me. Hopefully.

Hanging in there

And yes, yesterday it rained for me. Just for me.

I needed silence. I still need silence. One word at a time.

* * *

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway."

[Mother Teresa]

Gotta have passion

The passion that frees us from mediocrity. Et d'une existence mondaine.

Then, I'm wrong.

There's no way I'll learn to live like this. Desasida del mundo. Atada a la vida que en mi fue, quizás no hace mucho, pues aún me es dado recordar. Recordar las palabras que alguien recitó en mi. Que se leyeron en mi mente. Por otros. Quizás por mi. Perhaps I'm trying to confuse myself. Perhaps I'm lying to myself. How could I know? うそだよ!

I just want to walk in circles. You're wrong. Seulement la pluie a mains si petites. Perdida en en círculo tornasol de la avaricia contemporánea. La soledad desgastada de compañía. Fragilité dans l'anatomie. Rien dans l'harmonie. Everything inside, tout dehors. 日本語に翻訳することを忘れた。

I guess I'm wrong. After all. Porque si todo fuese de otro modo, I'd still be there. Or here. Most likely here.

まだ歌いたい。¿Qué canción? La chanson que tu m'as chantée.

No, it's not OK.

Not even the rain

I was looking for excitement. For a rush in my blood. For a faster beating.

Now my heart stopped beating. My hand stopped writing.

Singing Mood

Con la desesperación apretando la garganta: quiero cantar. No. No solo cantar. Cantar, brincar, bailar, correr, gritar, mirar, llorar, reir. Cansarme. Cansar al corazón. Cansarlo de tanto latir. Quedarme sin respiración. Respirar amor, coraje, tristeza, poesía, dolor, inspiración! Comunicarme con aquel que solo entiende de emociones. Entender solo de emociones. Beber el veneno de la vida. Aquel que da la muerte y en la muerte, da la vida.

Me tocan los extremos. Me tocaban los extremos.

Yo así no sé vivir.

* * *

segúnloqueestableceelreglamentodelaparentarpodríahaberlloradounma
delágrimassaladasarrojarmealosabismosypartirmeendoselalmadesatarl
atempestadyelhuracándfemigargantayconfesardesesperadoquenopuedo
conmirabiaaunqueenmiactitudnosoytanevidentenopuedosufrirmásquele
dolorcuandoespordentroesmásfuertenosealiviacondecirseloalagente.

VIA Rail Canada

Chère cliente, (I'm a chère something!)

Merci d'avoir choisi VIA Rail. (C'est rien. Uy uy uy) Nous vous sommes reconnaissants (Ok, this is not working. You have to see me.) de nous accorder votre clientèle et sommes heureux de vos offrir le service de billets par la poste, si pratique pour nos clients! (Oh yes! There's a lot to SEE here. A whole set of facial expressions you'd be laughing at.)

* * *

Arely, totally in the French mood. Il faut articuler!

If today were my birthday

I'd be dancing, singing, crying (new adition to the collection of traditions), smiling, laughing, jumping, leaping, reading, kissing, hugging, running, walking, sleeping, eating, resting, thinking, writing, working...

But today it's not my birthday. So, I'd do all of them except working. Wait. That doesn't sound right. Maybe I'd work a little bit. Just a little bit. We don't wanna make it an everyday thing. Do we?

* * *

Arely wants to hug and kiss her friends. Keep moving, Bob!